Asking someone on a date may be a difficult step, especially if you have no previous experience in the dating field. You may catch yourself overthinking the smallest thing or might struggle with general communication in regards to your crush.
If you don’t have an extensive dating history you might assume that there is something wrong with you. You might be in your mid-20s or perhaps even older without any long-term romances, however, that’s not your fault. Everyone is different and despite the frustration and impatience you might be experiencing, you shouldn’t worry too much.
Relationships are delicate and you cannot rush them. Some people find their significant others quite early on in their lives, while other people might only feel that certainty of finding ‘the one’ after two divorces.
Dating can be either viewed as something very simple or incredibly complex. As a single man, you might be either actively searching for your future partner or if you have a very pessimistic mindset then you could have accepted your so-called “lonely fate.” But maybe you just don’t know where to meet women yet.
Well, neither approach is the healthiest. There should be a balance. Even though dating sites may be useful, they can be compared to a lottery. You either win and meet the love of your life or just waste a lot of time and money on it.
So what changes could you make that might help up your dating game?
Firstly, be approachable.
“Approachable” is quite a complex term and also refers to appearance. This doesn’t mean that you should spend hours in front of the mirror every morning, however, you should look presentable and fresh. If you can reflect your style through your clothing then perhaps women will pay more attention to you.
Nevertheless, looks are not everything. Behavior and body language are also very important. For example, if you appear frowning and grumpy (maybe even in your pajamas) in a coffee shop then women might not be too attracted to you.
However, if you wear a well-put-together outfit and smile then you will appear much friendlier towards others.
Secondly, be respectful. As simple as that sounds, many men don’t notice ‘not ok’ things with their behavior. You mustn’t scare women by staring at them. Whilst to you it might appear like you are admiring them, some women might find the extensive looking intimidating.
You should also be respectful in conversations. This includes not asking them too many personal questions. Even if you are intrigued and curious in regards to their dating history, you shouldn’t ask how many boyfriends they had before on the first date. If they want to share that information with you then they will.
You should also not be too pushy. If you find someone attractive and you might lock eyes with them across the street or in a restaurant, that may not be an invitation to chat.
Now you may think that it’s impossible to see what emotions women reflect, however that’s not true. Deep down (mostly due to older conventions) women are shy. If they truly like you then they will most likely approach you.
Of course, to be able to date someone, you either have to approach them or vice versa.
Perhaps if you do see a nice girl in a coffee shop then you could try to start a conversation with her. This may include you asking what she’s drinking or if she’s waiting for someone. You could even bring up a topic concerning recent events to make conversation. This could be by asking her a simple question: are jobs hiring during coronavirus?
Through this, you could find out whether she is single or in a relationship. If she seems to engage within the conversation then it might be your lucky day. If you find it appropriate then you could ask for her number.
However, do accept no as an answer. There is no reason why she would refuse your courting if she wouldn’t like you. So do remember to respect her space and not be too pushy.
If you succeed in getting her contacts then you might want to invite her out on a date. Due to the Internet’s popularity, a lot of people converse online, however, getting to know someone in person is so much better. You can see their immediate reactions and it can create a sense of intimacy as well.
Nowadays, there is a big dilemma concerning who is taking the bill or whether it should be split. If you are old-fashioned then perhaps paying for the first meal could be a nice gesture, however, do make sure that she is ok with it. This could be achieved by suggesting that you two will split it on the next date or that she can pay next time.
This wouldn’t only show your potential commitment, but could also reveal her feelings towards you and whether there will be a second date.
It’s also very important to find someone who understands you and accepts you as the way that you are. You wouldn’t want to catch yourself Googling “how to survive a toxic relationship” after pretending to be something that you are not.
Honesty is key in a relationship, even if you are at the very beginning of it. Perhaps don’t share your long-term relationships plans with her immediately (especially if they concern her), but be as honest as you can without becoming invasive.
Finding the right partner can be quite a long process and you shouldn’t settle for someone that you don’t feel fully comfortable with. Take things slowly and be patient!
