“A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.”

That single quote pretty much sums up the true meaning of a best friend. It is truly rare to find a best friend even in a world as big and complex as ours. However, the best of friends can make your life complete, better than anything money can buy or fame can expose.

It is one of life’s greatest joys – to be able to share your ups and downs, seek solace, or even to find someone to binge your favorite shows with – together.

Speaking from personal opinion, my life changed for the better when I had good friends who weren’t judgmental around my life, especially during the tough times. A breakup from someone you used to care for doesn’t seem so hard when you’re with a person that has your back. That’s the power of having a best friend – the singular honor of sharing a similar soul in two different bodies.

However, finding a best friend is a whole other topic. Very rarely are things that are truly special, easy to discover. Even in a world so complex and large as ours, we sometimes struggle to meet people who are our “tribe” or people who feel like home to us. We’re already facing many battles in our everyday life, but finding a best friend shouldn’t be one. It’s so easy – sometimes people forget how the littlest of things can bring such an impact on your life.

These steps can help if you are: 

  • Searching for a best friend to share your ups and downs with
  • You’re unclear what to do or say to a friend
  • You’re shy or simply an introvert at heart which makes it difficult to meet new people

How do you define a good friend?

A good friend enables you to feel this way. A good friend is someone who…

  • Is there for you, even in bad times
  • Can be counted on, even when you require help
  • Doesn’t judge you, but will advise you if you’re doing something wrong
  • Treats you kindly and without any bias
  • Doesn’t leave you when things get tough
  • Loyal to you and wouldn’t backstab you 
  • Makes you smile
  • Doesn’t put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings

If you are all of the above to someone, then you are doing something right. However, if you are searching for a best friend for yourself, continue on.

Step 1: Find what you love and join, join, join!

This is a sure-fire tip to get you the friends you can share similar interests with. If your hobbies are learning foreign languages like French and Spanish, discover which classes you can take up, and don’t hesitate – just sign up for it!

Figures are – your new best friend might just be from this group of language learners. Not only do you get to improve your skills or take up new hobbies and activities, but you also get to meet these groups of people with shared interests the weeks after. That way, you know you’re going to see them again and make up for a less awkward best friend hunt.

Step 2: Understand that you don’t just bump into your best friend, you might need to make the first – and second – move too!

This can come as a no-brainer, but romantic books aside, bumping into someone that is not romantically inclined but destined to be your soulmate may be tougher to find in real life. And that’s perfectly okay. What you should understand – the sooner the better – is sometimes in life, it is up to you to make the first move.

Chances are if you struck up a conversation with the lady in the flower shop beyond just a smile or a nod, you might discover she would share similar interests or just be a nice person to have a chat with. Take the first initiative and ask her out to hang sometime – or simply grab a cup of coffee out! Life can pass us by quickly if we are hoping to just keep waiting for someone else to make a move.

Step 3: The apps don’t lie!

Yes, I know it’s so cliche. But the apps honestly don’t lie. Facebook, Bumble BFF, Friender, Instagram, or whichever apps you have that allow you to chat and find new friends may give you your big break in meeting new people and potentially finding your best friend!

A great thing about this method is that if you’re an introvert at heart, this might be the most comfortable way to chat and mingle with new people. I totally get that. However, just be sure to be safe and never disclose any personal information before making your own evaluation on whether that person can be trusted or not. Your house address is a big no-no when you’re just chatting with a stranger on the internet. Be safe and consider all warning signs!

All in all, meeting someone that can be the Bonnie to your Clyde is always one of life’s most underrated joys. I stand by what my mother told me countless times before, “You can never have too many friends in your life, but the true ones remain steadfast in silence and strong in turbulence.